Live, From Paragon (Draft)

Back when I did the occasionally City of Heroes Screenshot Guides, I toyed with the idea of a monthly series of screenshot comics teasing the next issue.  These used my character “Shandora Ward” as my unofficial spokeswoman- I never realized how short she was until I started standing her next to other characters for my comics.  Rather than just correct that, I gave her a bit of a complex regarding her height.

The following was the “script” I used for my pilot comic, but life took a turn to the insane side, so it never reached production.

The devs in City of Heroes, rather by accident or mad genius, managed to make some of the best, most engaging online personaes I've encountered.  They managed to balance autority with approachability and playfulness with professionalism- interaction with them via the forums became a vital part of the game experience for many of us.  I've never seen it done so well before or since.  

This was going to include 4 dev personas (without permission):  Back Alley Brawler, Castle, War Witch, and Sexy Jay.



This is how I'd "script out" ideas for my comic.  The *indicates lines that loosely describe the scene for the comic.  the other lines are mostly dialogue for shandora, even if the “Shandora:” doesn’t appear.

*The Scene- a "set" under construction.  use faultline construction areas.  Have various villain types doing construction work in the background.
*Shandora's walking through the set.

Shandora: Welcome to the future set of "Live from Paragon" ... or whatever we end up calling this little project,  I suggested "Titanic" but apparently there's some trademark issues with that un.

Anyway, think of this as something of a "pilot episode."  Chase is trying to see if he could possibly pull something like a weekly comic off with his schedule and lack of sanity.

*looking around, standing near crates....
So far... wel... the set's not built, My costumes are so Issue 9, the script is nonexistent,
...but we have tons of caffeine... and umm... crates of rum....
*studies the crates.
...must be producing on Pinnacle server...yay! reroll.  maybe he'll fix my height this time...

...but none of that matters... except maybe the rum... because our first guest is waiting....
....so without further delay, please give a warm welcome to City of Heroes' Senior Animator & Visual FX Artist, Back Alley Brawler.*

Back Alley Brawler Scene

*Disclaimer along the bottom-- Not the real Back Alley Brawler.
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These other disclaimers will appear at the bottom of the random pages going forward.
Disclaimer: No Paragon Studios Developers were harmed during this production.
Disclaimer: No Paragon Studios Developers were involved in this production.  Seriously... they're smarter than that.
Disclaimer: No Paragon Studios Developers were even consulted in the course of this production.   We expect to hear from their legal team Soon(TM)....
Disclaimer: No Paragon Studios Developers has seen this production... to our knowledge.
Disclaimer: Devs, don't tell us if you do see it, Its too much work to edit all these disclaimers.
Disclaimer: All the previous Disclaimers also apply to Paragon Studios Non-Developer Staff, NCSoft employees past and present, Cryptic Studios past and present, and my mum.
Disclaimer: If you read this comic backwards- aloud -at midnight - during a full moon - with the stars in alignment- any foul creatures summoned are totally NOT OUR FAULT.
Disclaimer: Actually, any way you read it, anytime you read it... whatever appears, it isn't our fault either.
Disclaimer: Well, if this comic generates winning lottery numbers when run through a numerology generator... we call dibs.
Disclaimer: We are not refunding you for the time wasted reading this comic.
Disclaimer: We are not refunding you for the time wasted reading these disclaimers.
Disclaimer: We do not guarantee that every page of the comic will have a disclaimer.
Disclaimer: These disclaimers have not been vetted by our legal team.
Disclaimer: We don't really have a legal team.
Disclaimer: In case you thought we weren't serious... we really didn't contact ANY CoH Devs when making this.
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*Shandora reads from prearranged notes, standing on crates to get closer to babs eye-to-eye.
* BaBs is flexing in the background.

Shandora: Back Alley Brawler's been with City of Heroes since before Issue 8.
He's helped bring us the animations for emotes, enemies, several new powersets, and weapon customization, and was pretty instrumental in the custom powerset initiative.

S:  So, with all that, and all the news that's been leaked out about the upcoming issue, I think we all know what's on every viewer's mind...

S:   Sir Back Alley Brawler, Senior Animator & Visual FX Artist, please tell your loving public--Who would win - you or Castle- in a DvD match?

Babs: Me err... what? Me and castle in PvP? we don't really do tha...

S: No, not PvP.  We know you don't do that... (tinyscript) nobody does in CoH(/tinyscript).  DvD-- Dev vs Dev.  You know- you and castle with your unique dev powers duking it out...

Babs: *(stoic "you can't be serious look")

S: (ignoring the stare) ... who do you think would win.

Babs: *(stoic "you can't be serious look")

S: (still going.  Face changed to a more manic female look).  Oh, sure... I know what you're thinking.  "I'm just the animation/FX guy.  How could that stack up against someone who has power over the actual POWERS in the game.  Add a few zeros in the all-powerful spreadsheet and I'm pushing up daisies!"

S: (the most exaggerated gestures I can find) Well, mr FX/Animator... I'm thinkin that you've got the fight made!  Change is activation animation!  Make it something really long.  Heck, maybe even replace it with something decidely un-manly... like an "I'm a little teapot, short and stout" animation (shan in pose 'c:\coh\teapot' (thank Leandro for the CoH poser app!)).  While he's stuck in animation, you knock him out!

*Add an insane face to Shandora’s.
*S pauses to compose herself.  Babs hasn't moved.
*Close up of faces shan cheesy smile.  Babs not moving at all.
*S face back to normal.  Still no babs reaction.
*S coughs.

S: (backpedals) Oh, of course, yeah, I get it... right... we don't talk tactics on the air.  Totally understand.  Secrecy... very important....  I'll.... we'll... um... edit that out.

S: Oh... um... that's right.... "live" from Paragon.  Well, don't worry, we don't have many viewers.

S: Anyway....

(now for the more serious animation/FX hilights of the issuse.)

...

Later, During the Castle Interview

S: ... so I hear you really get into the persona of "Castle" -so much that you prefer your co-workers calling you that rather than your real name.
C: What? Where'd you hear that.
S: (clipboard) Oh... um its right here in my notes.  BAB said "We call him castle all the time.  usually we use a silent C.  I really didn’t get what he meant about silent c, but...
C: ..astle? Oh, he said THAT did he?  (*starts storming offscreeen*) BABS!

S: (to the camera) second rule of guerilla journalism.  If you can't get them to ANSWER who's better in dev vs dev... get em to demonstrate it.
C: (off screen) Silent C, eh?
Babs: Wha?

* focus on shandora in fear poses, terrified.
* cover eyes.

*new scene, castle and babs in wrecked mayhem map, debris all around.
* Castle is stuck in a "I'm a teapot" emote, musical FX and the words for "I'm a little teapot short and stout" floating around him.
*Credit Leandro's CoH Poser for this shit again.
* Babs, laying spreadeagle on the ground, unconscious

Castle:  Heh! You can't top Fifty bajillion zeroes added to my fire aura!
Castle: Um… how many more cycles does this song last?
Bab: (on his back, hand raised in a thumbs-up:     Totally worth it!


(*Go on with new teasers to the new issue)
...

And Later
*Castle, still stuck in the emote, as the musical FX lyrics continue with "Seventieth verse, same as the first..."
Castle: Seriously,how many verses did you put in this emote?
*Babs, Teabags with a smile.

(more "real" teaser stuff for the next issue)

Then, In the Interview with “War Witch”

….
WW: You aren't going to ask me about how I’d do in Dev vs Dev?
S: Uh, well... y'know... no offense- lead dev and all- but... well, you're a world-builder.  I can't really see how that could beat wha...
WW (impatiently interrupts):  I can trigger Kronos Titans spawns at will...

(screen of huge Kronos foot stomping, knocking back Babs and Castle.)
Castle:  Woot! Respawn! animation broken! I’m freeeeeee….
BAB: Wait'll you see the new rez animation I came up with.....

At the end:

Coming Someday(TM):

"Live, From Paragon" Interviews "Sexy" Jay Doherty. Aka “Nice Axe.
*Shandora, as frustrated as I can make her appear, standing next to "Nice Axe's’ beltbuckle (height difference)

S: So... Um... Jay...
J: "Use my character name."
S:Uh.... ok, "Nice Axe..."
J:"Thanks, I work out"
S:(sigh) and that's the third time you've used that joke...
J: (laughing)"I know... it never gets old, does it?"
S: Can't I just call you Sexy Jay?
J: "Girls call me sexy all the time in real life, but we're supposed to be in character here."
S: Ok, so... nice axe....
J: (interrupts)Thanks, I work out.

(Wimper)