This Tabitha was somewhat more comfortable with herself than most of my incarnations, and a bit more accepting of the particulars of her "fanbase" than the Tabitha that would appear in other settings.
28 Aug 2009. 5:57 am.
At Logan International waiting in line. My agoraphobia kicked into overdrive. Wonder why: My first flight… all these people… all this activity… all alone…the lines…nowhere to hide. I’m surprised I haven’t bolted back to East Prescott already. I’ve been yearning to escape that little backwater village for most of my life and now I’m ready to run back and hide under the bed.Line’s moving. Gotta get a grip. There’s gonna be problems with security, I just know it.
Can’t keep my claws retracted when I’m scared.
(0 comments)
28 Aug 2009. 7:45 am.
Ok, waiting at the gate for my flight to Millennium City. Wasn’t as bad as I thought: the TSA officer even got me to laugh. He made a big production for my benefit, breaking up the standard line with some mock confusion: “Please place your bag on the belt and remove your sho…. Oh…. Um… well…” as he pretended to just notice my… condition. He fumbled with the handheld metal detector like he didn’t know what to do with it. “Guess you travel light, eh, lass… you can’t really hide….” He did a fast futile sweep and let his voice trail off. It was an over-the-top performance that just put me right at ease. Kinda reminded me of Tandy’s pap.I think I’m gonna do this!
(3 comments)
28 Aug 2009. 8:33 am.
Getting a few strange looks… leers, even. You’d think they hadn’t ever heard of a feliform before!….Of course they have…… That’s why they’re leering.
Catgirls have something of a reputation…
Why couldn’t it have been… I dunno… reptile? Avian, maybe? Nobody would look at crocodile girls like that!
(16 comments)
28 Aug 2009. 11:27 am.
@BearItAll: Ok, you proved me wrong. I really shouldn’t have taken that link. That’s one fetish I didn’t need to know about…(8 comments)
28 Aug 2009. 11:52 am.
Apologies to “@sexyscales.” No, that wasn’t a slight directed to you. I didn’t even know there WAS any of that kind. Was just… well, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of! dayum… you inherited the best qualities of both species! You're hotter than I'll ever be...(23 comments)
28 Aug 2009. 12:12 pm.
No, I don’t “swing that way”, @JackOfAllSpecies, so there will be no “pics” to share.(84 comments)
28 Aug 2009. 12:30 pm.
Hey! Readers! I’ve got readers! Whee!!(6 comments)
28 Aug 2009. 12:44 am.
Boarding the plane. Dr A, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU… for everything. Without you, I’d never have gotten the appointments, let alone the airfare. I won’t forget this. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU. We haven't always been on the best of terms, but you came through for me! You're the greatest.(3 comments)
28 Aug 2009. 5:57 pm.
Hello Millennium City! Tabby has landed!The flight, though… damn. Why didn’t anyone tell me you couldn’t use electronics? I would’ve brought a book. Five freaking hours (how long do they have to taxi anyway?!?!?!) with nothing to read but the airline magazines. AIRLINE MAGAZINES. Do they have anything BUT ads in them? Tried to sleep, but the brat next to me kept EVERYONE up. Kept grabbing my tail too. I managed to behave and NOT do the hiss and bare-claws act on him until just before landing. Didn’t faze the 4-year-old one bit. He just “oooOOO”’ed and kept saying he wanted to “pet kitty.”
Don’t think the guy two aisles back realized how good my hearing is, or he’d have been quieter when whispering “me too.” The hiss didn't work on him either....
I gotta work on my “intimidating look.”
(8 comments)
28 Aug 2009. 9:41 pm.
Made it to the hotel. Millennium City was like nothing I ever have imagined. This place is HUGE! We drove by Renaissance Center. Some of those structures seem to defy gravity. What IS that thing hovering overhead? And people here barely even do a double-take on me here! Heck, we passed two flyers and God knows how much spandex on the way in. As terrifying as all this is, I actually fell… I dunno…. like I can fit in here.Don’t really know travel etiquette: Didn’t have much more than my own handbag with me, but the bellhop insisted in showing me to the room. Not sure if I overtipped or undertipped, but he just stuck around like he was expecting something. Creeped me out.
Ah well, gonna hit the sack. Have my first appointment early tomorrow.
(3 comments)
29 Aug 2009. 12:33 pm.
Well, not too sure about Prof. Telsior. He's a great guy & had some helpful insight, but he seemed more interested in studying me than in helping me get better. Got the feeling that he’d be disappointed in “destroying the specimen” by reverting me. At least he confirmed Dr. A’s findings: not lycanthropic, no lingering demonic energies (duh!), but also not polymorphic in the traditional arcane definition.On the downside, I'm not "human" in the genetic or mystic aural sense either. Yeah, I already knew that (this is a lot more than just a "skin condition") but still stings to hear it said, particularly in such a clinical tone.
Don't get me wrong: The guy knows his stuff… I just worry that he’s more interested in studying me than… well… helping me. That just might be my nerves speaking though...
He's got me meeting with a few of his associates tomorrow, but I'm already looking forward to Dr A's other leads.
I want so bad to be normal again.
(16 comments)
29 Aug 2009. 2:44 pm.
@IamNotALawyerButIPlayOneOnline. I hadn't even thought of the legal aspects of this. The juvie courts treated me as mostly a "person" under the classification of "human in an involuntary altered state." If I'm classified as of extradimensional, nonhuman origin, then I would just fall under the "sentient" classification instead. Damn. I'm scheduled to start in the spring semester and student financial aid is open only to "person" legal standing.This needs fixed ASAP.
(6 comments)
29 Aug 2009. 6:16 pm.
You're right @sexyscales. "fix" is never a good word for an feli or canis to use. I should have seen that line coming, particularly after my classmates repeatedly put up [url=http://www.positivethinkers.net/products/spay-your-catgirl-poster]this poster[/url] my senior year.(34 comments)
29 Aug 2009. 10:08 pm.
@BearItAll: Thanks for the encouraging words, but I do *accept who I am*. This, though.... it isn't me. I wasn't born this way, I didn't inherit it, and it isn't some genetic mutation that manifested when I hit puberty. If it was, I'd live with it. This is the result of a freak accident- no... an epic act of stupidity... so it needs reversed. I don't have anything against the other anthromorphs out there, but this is NOT me.(27 comments)
30 Aug 2009. 8:32 am.
Guess I should explain. What the heck-- I've got a whole day to kill and still get uneasy around these crowds. Storytelling time:I never knew much about my aunt Tabitha until I stumbled across an old chest in the attic sometime before my tenth birthday. For a little brat that got all starry-eyed over pictures of unicorns, fairies, and elves, it was a treasure trove. There were new age crysrals and jewelry and pendants.... painted native american dreamcatchers and feathery fetishes and pouches full of all sorts of funny-smelling stuff... There were astrologer starcharts and Ouija boards... an honest-to-goodness crystal ball and books. My God, the books were incredible: heavy leather-bound ancient tomes with massive locks, small pocket travel journals, and tons of loose-leaf translations in my aunt's handwriting.
Home life was hard at that time: mom was running two jobs to offset Dad's drinking and fighting with him about that drinking when she was home. Neither had much time for me and the nearest kid my age was a good five miles away. The attic was my refuge. I was a sorceress princess in my palace. As my aunt's namesake, I felt justified in "inheriting" her possessions- and they made AWESOME toys. I'd spend nights waving around wands and casting out pouches of dried leaves battling imaginary monsters, riding imaginary unicorns, and dining with the king of the fey. My fondest childhood memories are under that roof...
(And yes, for any magically-inclined readers, it IS amazing that in all that time I didn't burn down the house or implode it or open a portal to the netherworld seven times over).
Anyway I eventually started taking things more seriously. I'd read most of my aunt's notes & was actually focusing on reading the books. I was seen as bit of a language prodigy at school (and at church- got the pastor to help me with latin) but it didn't come as easily as people thought- I was just DETERMINED to read her books in their native language and unlock their secrets. When I got to the alchemical texts, I devoured every chemistry book I could find. When I the planetary-tracking charts became too difficult, it was time for math. Yes, I was a bit of a geek & outcast, but I didn't care. Climbing the social pecking order never really seemed worth it compared to unlocking the secrets in those books.
I still wasn't practicing "safe magic." ...Heck, I've YET to find a book that sets those rules down, Maybe I'll write one. (I'll title it "Don't Do what I Did.") The way I was going, it was only a matter of time before something went horribly wrong.
Something finally did. On my 14th birthday.
Ok, this heartbreaking Lifetime story's turning out a bit long. I'll break here for a bit. Go take a bio break, Grab some popcorn & maybe a box of tissues.
(8 comments)
30 Aug 2009. 10:11 am.
A clarification. Sorry @JackOfAllSpecies, it isn't THAT kind of story. The box of tissues were for CRYING for all the emo... not... eew.I'm beginning to worry about my readers...
(34 comments)
30 Aug 2009. 1:08 pm.
Back to the story:The last birthday party I ever had at home was my thirteenth. Mom had died a few months earlier (car accident- drunk driver hit her car) and dad had been temporarily scared sober by the incident. He'd told me that I was all he had left, that I was his life & he'd do right by me, but I was still taken aback by the effort he put into that surprise party. Even though I didn't really LIKE most of those kids, I still LOVED the party.
Dad fell off the wagon sometime around the anniversary of mom's death. I'd hoped that my fourteenth birthday would serve as some sort of catalyst... something to get him to try again... but no such luck. The man wasn't sober enough to even remember my birthday. I remember coming home, holding onto the hope that it was another surprise part, and instead finding him out cold on the floor. I pulled the fairly full bottle of Jim Beam Black Label from his hands and took it up into the attic with me. Figured I'd find out what was so special about the stuff that had replaced me as "the center of [his] life."
"Don't Drink & Conjure" yeah, that should probably have a chapter in the "safe magic" book. Maybe two.
So, more than a little buzzed & feeling pretty shitty about myself, I came over a section that, from what I could tell, promised to "imbue the caster with great power." I still didn't entirely believe that horseshit was real-- nothing else I'd tried ever worked... but with some liquid courage in my belly and common sense disassociated from my mind, I decided to try it. If it worked, I'd have the power to escape this life. If it didn't... what'd I lose? A few minutes of my pathetic existence?
Well, about halfway through the incantation, I suddenly UNDERSTOOD what I was casting. Not just the words- I *saw* the fabric of the universe, *watched* the incantations weave into it, alter it... open it... For the first time, I could sense the spell working... and I could sense it in every way imaginable- sight... sound... touch. Heck, I could TASTE the spell working. Even my sixth sense had come alive. Everything was before me in perfect clarity.
And I was terrified.
The spell I was in the middle of casting was an invitation for demonic possession... and it had gotten a response from something nasty.
(11 comments)
30 Aug 2009. 3:03 pm.
So, there I was, all magically uber-aware and in the middle of a spell that would make me share my body with a pretty mean netherworld critter. "Share" seems a bit wrong there: I really don't think the entity I could sense reaching into me had any intent to... ya know... give me any say in how things were run. I could already tell that my to-be-bodymate wasn't excatly gonna agree to any house rules I might set.Naturally, I tried to interrupt the spell, but too much had transpired. I could feel it crawling within me. I could SEE the transformation start. My fingers elongated and started turning claw-like. My vision was changing. My skin burned. I was changing- and not into my current form. Something was slowly making itself at home in my body.
I searched frantically for a counterspell, for a containment... for anything that could block the process. I ditched the european texts for Native American lore calling out to totemic spirit guides. As the night went on, I cycled through Asian traditions, African, ancient Egyptian, back to European, back to the spirit guides, and even ancient Mayan rites. I smashed crystals, burned herb bags, cut my arm and drank my own blood.... I'm pretty sure I made tea out of something's ashes at one point...
I could SEE those spells weave through the universe, just like the others, but they were all engulfed by this massive tear made by the ritual invitation. Yeah, I never closed that original incantation. I was pretty sure that would seal the deal- I was just throwing everything damn thing (err... bad time to use that term) I could imagine into the void hoping something- anything- would... I dunno.... clog it up.
...but I kept changing.
Finally, I stole Dad's keys, tore out of the house and into the car. It was 3am and I had no clue where to go. I needed to find someone- ANYONE- to weave a counterspell.
Where to go?
I reached Salem by 4am. You'd think that you could find a witch in Salem, Massachusetts right? I don't know what I was thinking. Did I expect them to have a shingle out announcing their trade? A listing in the yellow pages? (I looked :P) Follow the trails of breadcrumbs and muffled cries of children?
Needless to say, it wasn't a fruitful search.
Near wit's end and exhausted, I found the nearest church. The doors were locked but they opened right away for the front bumper of a 1976 Plymouth Duster. I remember dumping the holy water over my head, lighting every candle I could find in the place & crying at the altar before passing out.
I woke in my current form to find the pastor & 2 cops standing over me.
(97 comments)
30 Aug 2009. 3:35 pm.
I'm still not sure what interrupted the transformation or where this form's framework could've come from. Some weird amalgam of all the crap I tried? Divine intervention? If so, God's got one sick sense of humor. Contaminant? We didn't HAVE housecats- just several barn cats that took care of themselves.(6 comments)
30 Aug 2009. 5:55 pm.
I probably shouldn't be answering this, but I think @JackOfAllSpecies got an unfair hit by some of the other commenters for his last post, so I'll address his question.No, I was was not "nekked."
I'm not offended by the question, though. There's a reason why so many of the feliform go "au natural." Most mammals have nerves near the roots of their hair, but felines have an order of magnitude more nerves per hair than humans... and several orders of magnitude more hair. That makes them MUCH more sensitive to their hair's movement. This is useful for feline predators- cats can detect (and respond to) their prey's movements mid-pounce based on the subtle eddies in the air current caused by the prey's movements.
One of the reasons many cats hate water is that it "pastes down" those hairs. Not only are they "blinded" from detecting anything, but they're given the constant sensation of being squeezed in every direction by that matted down hair... Kitty sweaters do the same thing...
...as do human clothes on many feliforms (depending on how they assumed that form).
That's why Jack's question was (somewhat) fair. I not only woke to three strangers in a place I could barely remember breaking into, but feeling squeezed tightly ALL over. I imagine the feelings akin to being immersed in several tons of wet cement... but worse. Needless to say I was disoriented, hung over, and VERY uncomfortable... but thats not going to make me strip down in front of strangers.
You don't get used to that pressure very easily. Many feliforms learn to cope with "going in the buff" before they learn to cope with the constant sense of being crushed. I, for example, learned to imagine myself in some kind of body stocking, so I don't think of myself as "nekked." It keeps me feeling comfortable while remaining mindful that I might still be appearing a bit too... revealing... for some peoples' tastes. I've got a long enough coat to pull that off, though...
(23 comments)
30 Aug 2009. 9:24 pm.
No, @TightsInLA, I'm not going to post more pics to illustrate. Use your imagination.
(4 comments)
30 Aug 2009. 9:36 pm.
Did I just tell a random internet poster to imagine me naked? How do you un-post?(36 comments)
30 Aug 2009. 11:23 pm.
Anyway, all that was five years ago. As part of the juvie court decision (driving without a license & under the influence & breaking and entering, & more ), and given my home life, I was enrolled in St. Ives Catholic Boarding school [EDIT: yes, Tights, I wore a uniform. No, I won't post pics.] When I wasn't doing schoolwork, I was searching for a cure... studying everything I could find on magical lore, though this time, not without supervision. All my experiments started with a written proposals submitted to the Archdioceses (and graded as an essay for class). Dr A. also flew in regularly to serve as my case worker, therapist, and arcane / spiritual guide.It wasn't all rosy-fun overnight, of course. The other girls at the school could be quite cruel... and I have to admit to being a bit of a bitch myself (wrong species... but saying I was 'catty' is too much of a groaner). In many ways, I failed to adjust because I really REALLY refused to see this as anything but a temporary condition. Teenagers have enough "fitting in" and "body image" issues to deal with without being transformed into a hairy critter hybrid. I swear, I owe my survival to Dr A. Agatha put up with a lot more than she had to. We didn't exactly hit it off too well, but despite my abuse, she's always been there-- even helping me after graduation.
... and now I'm here in Millennium City, thanks to her referrals. So close to a cure I can taste it.
Ok, storytime's over. Time for bed.
(24 comments)
31 Aug 2009. 8:32 am.
Yes, PogoMan, Dr A is SISTER Agatha, the werecat on the CC's Counsel on Sentient Rights. I haven't seen her EWTN show- don't have cable, but that's her. Her condition's not entirely the same as mine, but she's still been a great role model.(6 comments)
31 Aug 2009. 11:40 am.
Just got done with Prof Gildern. Man, he really knew how to rub me the wrong way. He seemed to like me well enough, but damn it, NEVER call me a "Catgirl!" EVER! And patronizing... I know it's kinda natural for people to talk to their dogs in a certain way, but I'm not a lolspeaking critter, damn it. I speak five languages. I've scored in the top ten percent percentile in every goddamn test I’ve taken in the last four years. I would have been valedictorian if not for my disciplinary record!Don’t you DARE talk down to me.
It's tough to explain: he wasn’t overtly condescending... I could handle that. He really seemed to like me- just said the wrong thing the wrong way. Like his job offer. He offered me a job as a lab assistant while we “figured this out” and he seemed honestly interested in actually solving my problem... but... the "c" word. That's when it came out. And then he seemed… I dunno… amused at the idea of a “catgirl” working there… like having a pet at the workplace. WTF? Does he expect to come by, check my work, and scratch me behind the ears for a job well done? Am I supposed to purr and curl up on his lap?
Ugh… scratch that mental image.
@BearItAll: do NOT send me linkys.
(54 comments)
31 Aug 2009. 12:03 pm.
Damn it, Bear!(3 comments)
31 Aug 2009. 5:12 pm.
Maybe coming here was a big mistake. Dr Michaels... Sarah... was a nice person, but absolutely unhelpful. MAYBE if I give her time, she'll be fine, but she wasn't one goddamn bit helpful.She suggested COUNSELING and maybe a glamor or two for going out in public. COUNSELING! GLAMORS! I've HAD enough counseling and glamors are useless. I don’t want to LOOK normal- I want to BE normal. I’m friggin sick and goddamn tired of this “embrace the gift” line of bull. Sound familiar, Dr A? Didn't work when you tried that line either did it.
At least I didn't throw a chair this time. I'm a little more stable now...
See, the COUNSELING did work!
I did involuntarily bare my claws, so the chair didn't escape entirely unscathed. Given everything, I think that was an acceptable response.
Dr A: you eventually came to understand all the problems this form is causing- you explained all that in the letters, so why the hell should I go through it all again with her? Damn it!
Then she goes on about if I ever wondered "who I'd be" if I reverted back... implied that I'm some amalgam of critter and human mental states and I'd somehow cease to be the "me" that developed in the past 5 years if I was reverted back to human-only. Was damn persistent, pointing out some of my less-human idiosyncrasies. Damn it, I DON'T CARE. What about rescuing the "me" that ceased to exist back then when she had the critter thoughts mashed into hers? She's worth saving, too!
I need to punch something.
Wonder if the hotel gym has a bag.
If not, maybe the bellhop.
(11 comments)
1 Sep 2009. 10:08am.
Ugh. Hung over.Bellhop wasn't around, but the bar was open.
One plus of the feliform- bartenders aren't as good at guessing our age.
One downside- I'm tiny and lightweight. Can't hold liquor worth a damn.
Still want to hit something too...
BRB: something’s going on outside.
(8 comments)
1 Sep 2009. 10:22am.
HOLY SHIT! They're cramming everyone into basement shelters. The PA said something of a friggin alien invasion! Is this going on everywhere else?News sites just talk about MC!
(24 comments)
1 Sep 2009. 11:16am.
Suffered a panic attack in the shelter. Too crowded. No room to breathe.I left. On the streets now.
Gonna try to snap a few pics.
Don't worry. Curiosity and the cat and all... I know. I'll be careful.
(7 comments)
1 Sep 2009. 4:48pm.
That
Was
Incredible!
You'd never believe it! It was... wow... ok, where to start?
Umm... I KICKED ALIEN BUTT!
(127 comments)
1 Sep 2009. 7:48pm.
No, I'm not kidding. I was sneaking around the rubble when one of thos Insecty critters... Qularr... guys jumped me. Man, they move fast. Anyway, he knocked my smartphone outta my hands & pointed this nasty looking gun thingy at me. Something in me just "clicked" as I heard the phone shatter on the rubble. That thing was $300!I kinda went ballistic.
Now, I spend a lot of time blunting my claws to avoid accidents, but even dull, I tore right into the Q'iarrarr's arm, deep into the exoskeleton. Made him drop the gun. Another slash across the face and he went sprinting away. I know, right. Can you believe it?
At that point, I know I should've headed back to the shelter, but I kinda got caught up in the moment. Next thing I knew, I was running alongside a bunch o tights, freeing people from debris & helping push the insect people back.
I'm NOT JOKING.
And girls of St Ives, remember when I blew up the cafeteria dumpster? Yeah, the Church discontinued that experiment real fast, but imagine that little spell cranked up ten times more. I swear: I blew up this piece of alien machinery that had to be as big as a police cruiser! I don't even think I cranked it up the whole way!
It was AWESOME!
(131 comments)
1 Sep 2009. 11:21pm.
Hmm... if I channeled that energy from a blast like that through an etheral glyph and bound it... it could be held until.... hmm...eh.... guess I don't need to write these ideas down for permission any more, but force of habit.
(12 comments)
2 Sep 2009. 3:06 am.
Ok... the adrenaline wore off.Still an awesome day, but I don't think there's a single part of me that doesn't ache... and found the source of that "burnt hair" smell. My lower back's singed down to stubble. That was one hell of a kidney shot.
For once, I think a hotttub stay will be worth the discomfort.
(16 comments)
2 Sep 2009. 2:11 pm
Prof. Telsior might've found something... kinda a good news / bad news thing. He thinks that my previous tests missed a cyclic factor If he's right, the next good window for the cure will be 7 years from the incident- on my 21st b-day.That gives me two more years trapped in this form.
He spoke with Prof Gildern and they agree that I'd be a good undergrad assistant, but it's limited to full-time students only. I've got to get my legal standing resolved before I can afford that.
Gotta figure out what to do next. Can't afford the hotel for much longer. Gonna have to mind my pennies.
(36 comments)
2 Sep 2009. 11:46 pm
Ah, my readership shows how wonderful they are. Such generosity... so selfless... and always thinking of my needs. In just 9 hours we have seven offers to stay at their place... in their bed, no less... and 6 suggest employment opportunities... and that doesn't even count the 11 posts that got moderated.All my fears of my readership are confirmed. You're all a bunch of pervs, but I guess you're MY bunch of pervs, so I still love you guys!
(247 comments)
3 Sep 2009. 9:16 am
@MonkeyLuvin, no, that doesn't mean I'm shaking up with any of you. I hate to dash hopes this early in the morning, but not all catgirl... or boarding school girl... or sorceress... stereotypes are accurate. Despite my choice of (no) attire, I'm far from ANY of those stereotypes mentioned.@BearItAll, Sorry, I can assure you that the "naughty schoolgirl" pic you found is, indeed, photoshopped.
@IamNotALawyerButIPlayOneOnline. I really appreciate the contact list you sent me, but no, that doesn't get you on any inside track. I don't do tit for tat :P
(112 comments)
3 Sep 2009. 1:16 pm
@BearItAll. No, I won't replace the doctored photo with a real one.@MixMasterBlaster. No, I don't know what "tat" is, and no, you can't exchange it for the good stuff here.
(Sigh) How did this journal get so derailed. Seems like on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog but EVERYONE knows when you're a catgirl...
(19 comments)
3 Sep 2009. 4:46 pm
Dr Michaels knows someone looking for a roommate. Cheap rent, bad neighborhood (Chinatown). Still, it'll let me stretch out my cash reserves while I figure things out, and if anything's dumb enough to mess with me, I'll show him what I did to the Qularr drone.(12 comments)
4 Sep 2009. 10:30 am
Better and better.Certified letter waiting for me at the reception desk. Government. ATF.
Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms? WTF? Is this about getting drunk at the hotel bar? I knew I shouldn't have posted that.
(3 comments)
4 Sep 2009. 11:05 am
What is the ASPRA Database... and why is the ATF "inviting" me to register with it?(5 comments)
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